Casting About Read online

  “These are adorable,” Grace said, holding up sets of sheets with Disney characters all over them.

  “Yeah, I thought I’d go with the primary colors of the Disney theme. It’ll brighten up the room a bit.” Pulling out a pink stuffed angora kitten, I held it up. “Think she’ll like this?”

  Grace nodded. “Perfect to put on the bed.”

  “And I got a few stuffed dogs to go with it,” I said, continuing to dig into more bags.

  A couple of hours later, we stood back and surveyed our work. Sheets were on the beds, stuffed animals arranged, towels with ballerinas hung in the bathroom, throw rugs in place.

  “Not bad,” I said.

  Reaching into the last bag, Grace pulled out wallpaper border. “Do we have to wallpaper now?”

  I laughed. “No, we’re finished. I got that because it was so cute with the Disney characters and I thought Adam could put it up this weekend.”

  “I think she’ll like it,” Grace told me. She patted me on the back. “You’ve done well.”

  “This was the easy part, and I know that. By the way, what the heck do kids eat?”

  Grace smiled. “Everything and nothing. They’re all different, but usually they love cereal, cookies, cakes, ice cream, candy….”

  “Ah, all nutritional food, huh?”

  “Just think back to what you liked when you were eight.”

  “My mother didn’t give me many choices. And when she did, it was called a treat.”

  “You might turn out to be a better mother than you think. Too many of the moms today let the kids call the shots. With meals, bedtime, everything.”

  “So you’re saying I should restrict her food choices?”

  Grace put up a hand and took a step back. “Hey, don’t get me involved in this part of it. That’s all between you and Adam.”

  “Ah, the joys I have to look forward to. Stay for supper with me? I have leftover roast chicken and I can do up some rice and a salad.”

  “Sounds good,” Grace said, following me into the kitchen.

  After Grace left, I was sitting in the great room relaxing with my knitting. I glanced at my watch and saw it was 8:00. Adam would be calling soon. When he’d called the night before he said everything had gone well at the hearing. The judge had revoked custody from Carrie Sue and given full custody to Adam. Carrie Sue was still in the hospital and had been informed by the social worker that Clarissa would be leaving Georgia to live in Florida. She was told that if she wanted visitation, she’d have to retain an attorney and another court date would be set. Since Adam had no contact with Carrie Sue, he wasn’t sure what she planned to do.

  The phone rang and I answered to hear his voice.

  “Hey, sweetheart, how’d it go today?”

  “Not bad. I spent the whole day with Clarissa Jo. The foster parents seemed nice, but I’ll be glad to get her out of there tomorrow morning.”

  “How’s she feel about coming here to live with us?”

  “She didn’t say much. She was pretty quiet most of the day. I took her out for lunch and then we did some shopping for a few new clothes and toys.”

  “How does she feel about leaving Carrie Sue?”

  “Strangely enough, she barely mentioned her. I get the feeling that life with Carrie Sue wasn’t a bed of roses. She seems to be more upset about leaving Trish behind. This is a college student who cared for her after school and, from the sound of it, many evenings when Carrie Sue was out carousing. Trish had plans the night of the accident, and that’s why Clarissa was left alone. She begged me to let her see Trish before we leave in the morning, so I called her and I’m taking them both to breakfast before we hit the road.”

  “Good idea.” Even though I wasn’t sure I wanted the answer, I couldn’t resist asking, “Has she mentioned me at all?”

  “Not really. I brought you into the conversation a couple times, but I didn’t want to push.”

  “Right. Well, I have her room all put together. Grace came by this afternoon and helped me. It looks great. I think she’ll like it.”

  “That was really sweet of you, Monica. I know she’ll like it. Did you go with the Disney characters?”

  “Yeah, and some ballerinas in the bathroom and a few stuffed toys.”

  “I’ll tell her all about it tomorrow. God, I’m wiped. It’s been a long day.”

  I could hear the fatigue in his voice. “Did you have supper yet?”

  “Yeah, after I dropped Clarissa, I grabbed a bite at a small restaurant. Home-style Southern cooking.”

  “You sound tired, and you have a long drive in the morning. Get some sleep. I love you, Adam. I can’t wait to see you tomorrow.”

  “And how I love you, Monica. I’ve missed you.”

  I normally sleep till about 7:30, but I’d tossed and turned all night and finally got up at 6:00. After showering and dressing, I got my coffee and sat outside on the deck. Another gorgeous day on the island. We were having a beautiful April, and I sat there staring across the street to the water.

  Well, I thought, this day was going to change my life dramatically. What surprised me was that my focus the past couple of days had been more on the fact that Clarissa wasn’t going to like me, rather than my changed lifestyle. I just wasn’t adept with children. I didn’t even feel comfortable being in their company. What the heck was I going to talk to her about? I didn’t have a clue what the latest movies, music, or toys were for her age group. And how on earth does one go about learning those things?

  “Hey, Miss Monica, what are you doing out there so early?”

  I looked out to the road, and there was Saren taking his morning walk.

  “Come on up. I have fresh coffee.”

  I watched him walk through the yard to the steps for the deck. He was a marvel to me. At eighty-six, he walked every morning and was in excellent health. It’s not uncommon for people on the island to live till their nineties and remain in good health till the end. I used to joke that there must be something in the water.

  “You’re not usually out here this early,” he said, taking a seat across from me.

  “Yeah, I know. Adam will be back later today with Clarissa. Guess I just couldn’t sleep.”

  “Got lots on your mind, do ya?”

  I got up to get his coffee and nodded. “Guess you could say that.”

  When I returned a moment later and placed the mug in front of him, he said, “Wanna talk about it?”

  “I feel that’s all I’ve been talking about since last week. And worrying more than talking.”

  “Well, the news you got was a lot to take in. Here you are a new bride and getting settled into married life, and boom—now you have a child coming to live with you. That wouldn’t be easy for anyone.”

  “Did my grandmother like kids when she was younger? Did she do babysitting or anything?”

  From the look on Saren’s face, I could see I surprised him with my question.

  “Well,” he said, stroking his chin in thought. “I reckon she liked kids well enough. She always had Miss Dora tagging around with her. But that was her little sister, so not sure you’d call that babysitting.”

  When I remained silent, he said, “Oh, I see what you’re gettin’ at. Because Sybile gave your mother up for adoption—you’re thinkin’ you might be like her?”

  “It crossed my mind. Yeah.”

  “I’m not sure that kinda stuff is passed on. If ya ask me, I think with time you’re gonna do just fine.”

  I wished I had his confidence.

  Later in the day, Dora paid me a visit. I opened the door to find her loaded down with assorted things.

  “What’s all this?” I asked. “Here, let me help you.”

  Dora placed a Tupperware container on the counter filled with her delicious chocolate chip cookies.

  “I thought Clarissa might like these before bed tonight.”

  “Oh, Dora, that was really sweet of you,” I said and realized I’d never made an attempt to bake c
ookies. Wasn’t that what bakeries were for—but all moms baked cookies for their kids, didn’t they?

  She removed two gift-wrapped packages from the bags.

  “And these are for Clarissa. I got her a cute pair of pajamas with Disney characters and also a Madeline doll. Every little girl should have one of those. Just wanted to welcome her proper.”

  I pulled Dora into an embrace. “Thank you so much for everything. I’m sure she’ll love them. How about a cup of tea?”

  “That would be nice,” she said, settling herself at the table. “So when are they due to arrive?”

  “Adam called at about two, and they were in Jacksonville, so I’d say around five.”

  I filled the kettle with water and put tea bags into two mugs.

  “Are you excited?” she asked.

  I joined her at the table. “I think I’m feeling excited and nervous. Dora, I just don’t think I’m cut out to be a mother.”

  “Don’t be silly. Of course it’ll take time to adjust, but before you know it—well, goodness, it’ll all seem so routine to you.”

  “I’ve planned roast chicken, mashed potatoes, green beans, and salad for supper. Do you think that’s all right?”

  “It sounds wonderful. Don’t second-guess yourself. You’ll be surprised to learn that motherhood is ninety percent instinct. Always listen to your gut feelings. I’m sure Adam is relieved he’ll now have his daughter living with him.”

  I nodded. “Yeah, I think he worried about her way more than he let on to me. He knew Carrie Sue wasn’t an adequate parent, but the courts today always seem to lean in favor of the mother. It doesn’t matter what a loving and responsible parent the father is.”

  “Yes, I’ve heard that, and it’s a shame. I imagine it’ll be difficult for Clarissa, though, not to be with her mother anymore.”

  “Not according to Adam. Apparently Carrie Sue was a party girl most nights of the week. I guess she spent very little time with her daughter.”

  “Oh, that is a shame. Children need to know they’re loved, and of course parents are the ones who should spend the most time with them. I never did agree with having children and then pawning them off on day care or other people to watch them. Now, of course, sometimes that can’t be avoided—but whenever possible, I think it’s the parent who should be spending the most time with a child in their formative years.”

  I thought about Adam saying we’d hire somebody to stay with Clarissa during the hours I was at work and he was teaching summer school classes.

  “So what are you saying? I should quit the yarn shop and be here with her?”

  I poured water into the mugs while I waited for Dora’s answer, but none was forthcoming.

  “Well?” I asked.

  “Monica, dear, none of this is really my business.”

  “You’re family,” I told her. “I want your opinion.”

  “I just think all of this is going to be difficult enough on the girl, but no, I don’t think you should be giving up your job. Have you thought about enrolling her in some of the summer activities we have for the children?”

  I shook my head. “No, but I’m sure Adam will know what’s available.”

  “The Arts Center has a wonderful program during the week, and the library always offers something for them as well. It’s a few hours each day. That would give you time to be at the yarn shop, but when you finished, it would be you picking her up and taking her home. Not a stranger.”

  Maybe Dora was right. Plus, it would be a way for Clarissa to socialize more with the other children.

  “This sounds good,” I said. “I’ll discuss it with Adam.”

  “Both parents and children need their space, but you might come to see you enjoy the time you spend alone with her.”

  It was certainly going to be a new experience for me, but thinking back to my childhood and the hours I’d spent with my own mother lessened my anxiety temporarily.

  6

  I heard tires crunch on the gravel and knew Adam was home. Should I run out and greet them? Wait for him to come in with her? I chose to walk out on the deck and watch them exit the car.

  Adam got out first, walked around to the other side, and opened the passenger door. After a few moments, Clarissa stepped out. She looked taller since I’d last seen her. Sandy-colored long hair was pulled off her forehead, parted, with one braid hanging down the side. She wore colorful red slacks, a white top, and sandals. Clutched in her arm was a Raggedy Ann doll.

  Adam looked up, caught my eye, and waved, which caused Clarissa to also glance up at the deck. She put her head down and followed Adam to the steps.

  “Hey, sweetheart,” he said, coming to pull me into an embrace. “I missed you.”

  “I missed you too,” I mumbled, feeling awkward with a display of affection in front of Clarissa. Pushing away, I looked at her and said, “Clarissa, it’s nice to see you again.”

  For a moment I thought she was going to completely ignore me, but then I heard her say softly, “Thank you.”

  “How was your drive?” I asked, looking at Adam.

  “Very good. Not that much traffic. Clarissa, want to help me unload the car?”

  “Oh, I’ll help too,” I said, not sure if I was intruding.

  I followed Clarissa and Adam down the steps to the car. When he opened the trunk, I was surprised to see only one medium-sized piece of luggage, a tote bag, and one large box. For some reason, I thought she’d arrive loaded down with stuff. I had a vision of my own bedroom at her age. Between all my toys, books, games, clothes, and assorted treasures, I would have needed a moving van just for my own personal belongings.

  “Right,” Adam said, passing the tote bag to Clarissa. “You take this and I think we can manage the rest.”

  Without saying a word, she reached out for the bag and headed back toward the stairs.

  “How’d it really go?” I asked when she was out of earshot.

  “She’s just so damn quiet. So don’t take it personally, Monica. She hardly spoke at all the entire drive.”

  I nodded as I reached for the piece of luggage.

  We walked into the kitchen to find her standing in the middle of the kitchen floor, looking like a lost child. Heck, she was a lost child.

  Plastering a smile on my face, I said, “Hey, would you like to see your room? I hope you’ll like it. My friend, Grace, came over yesterday and we had so much fun getting it ready for you. We have Disney characters and…” I realized I was babbling. “Come on. It’s over this way,” I said, heading toward the hallway.

  Adam and Clarissa followed me into the room.

  Gesturing with my hands, I said, “Here it is. Welcome to your new room.”

  “It looks terrific,” Adam told me, looking around to take in the new items I’d added. “You did a lot of work in here.”

  We both looked at Clarissa, who only stood there gazing from the beds to the bureau.

  “And here’s your own bathroom,” I told her, walking toward it.

  She peeked in the doorway and nodded. “It’s nice,” was all she said.

  I had hoped for a more enthused reaction, but considering this child had just lost all that was familiar to her, maybe I was expecting too much.

  “I’ll get your luggage and stuff in the kitchen,” Adam said, leaving me alone with her.

  I caught Clarissa’s eyes move to the gifts on her bureau.

  “Oh,” I said. “My aunt Dora dropped those off for you today. It’s a welcome present.”

  Clarissa gave no reaction.

  “Would you like to open them now?”

  “I guess,” she said, with emotion absent from her tone.

  “Ah, what’s this? Presents already?” Adam put down her luggage and box.

  Clarissa walked to the bureau and reached for one of the boxes. Ever so slowly, she began to unwrap the paper. Peeking inside, she pulled out the pajamas.

  “That’s from Dora?” Adam questioned. “That was really nice of her. Wasn
’t it, Clarissa Jo?”

  She nodded, reached for the other package, and carefully removed the paper. She didn’t appear to be any more enthused with the doll than she was with the pajamas.

  “I have Annie,” she stated.

  “Annie?” I asked.

  She pointed to the Raggedy Ann doll she’d placed on the bed.

  “Oh,” I said, not knowing what else to say. Didn’t a kid have more than one doll?

  “Trish gave the doll to Clarissa this morning as a going-away present,” Adam explained.

  I began to understand. She wanted to be loyal to Trish—so another doll wasn’t wanted. Or needed.

  “But maybe you could place Madeline on your other bed,” he told her. “There’s storybooks about Madeline, too, and we’ll get you those. She’s from Paris, you know.”

  How the heck did Adam know all of this? I began to feel like I’d been living on another planet all my life. I’d never heard of a Madeline doll.

  “Okay,” she said, with the same lack of enthusiasm.

  “Well, I’m going to get the table set. Supper will be ready in about twenty minutes. Adam, maybe you’d like to take Clarissa for a walk across the street to the water?”

  “Good idea,” he said, throwing me a grateful glance.

  I guess he knew me well enough to realize that I needed a bit of time to regroup. Alone.

  It seemed odd sitting at the kitchen table with a young person in our presence. After a few moments, I noticed that Clarissa was simply sitting there. She hadn’t picked up her fork to begin eating. I shot a glance to Adam across the table.

  “Something wrong?” he asked her.

  “I don’t like chicken,” she whined.

  Great. Dora had assured me that chicken was a good choice. Strike one for me.

  I jumped up from the table. Maybe Grace had been right after all. “Well, we do have some cereal, and Aunt Dora brought over cookies. We might have some ice cream….”